blah, i have so much work. i have to study for a science test, spanish quiz, and a retake of my math test. not to mention my path portfolio project on polar coordinates .. and then another math quiz on friday. urgh. the pressure. >_<;
and to ENLIGHTEN this load of work, i have to go to my tutor today at 8-freaking-pm and leave at like .. 10 or so. that's just .. wrong. and today, my mom was like " okay, we're going to the doctor " after she picked me up from school. OF ALL TIMES, WOMAN! she picks TODAY, which happens to be the most hectic. ugh. and then in the morning she asked me if my stomach hurt and i said yes and she started just ... just stupid crap came out of her mouth that was centered around that i was faking it or something or how it " conveniently comes up when i get up for school and not the weekends ". i'm sorry!! i don't CONTROL my organs. god. and then she yelled at me for having pains. uh, yeah. fuck you. then i said maybe they were stress induced from school or something and she goes " oh, well what are you going to do? quit SCHOOL? god. " wow, i wanted to rip her head off. then i said that erin got medicine to treat it instead of "quitting school" then my mother told me to shut up about things i didn't know about. okay, HMM. have YOU ever known someone diagnosed with these kinds of pains? fucking hell. my mother is an inconsiderate little bitch and should go rot somewhere in an alley, i wouldn't give two shits about her. what a fucking ass. gjiskgmlsfgh.
yeah. anyway. i don't know if i'll be able to go out this week. which sucks because i like .. HAVE to go to this river city rebels show. or else. yes, or else. and it's not a pretty else. i don't care if you deny it, there WILL be an ugly "else" if i don't go. fijksg. i don't .. i can't handle life in general. ._.
i want thanksgiving break now! turkey, food, and nice cousins to talk to. not a STUPID, IDIOTIC, INCONSIDERATE MOTHER. i mean really. has she ever given THOUGHT to what she does sometimes? she's so .. dumb .. it just amazes me.
notice how like every rant i have is about my mother. i see a pattern.
today, everyone really pissed off erin and she was mad at everyone except me. in the "group". yeah, fuck that. i'm not part of it anymore. i don't even care about them anymore, nor do i talk to them. whatever. nick isn't really .. pissing me off. ugh, i don't care anymore. i don't have the passive-ness to just keep going with this whole thing when he STILL doesn't know why he got on my case. so why bother. gabe says i'm too opinionated and passionate about things. i should just let things go and be passive. a lot of people say that. i wish i could. i really do. but it's just who i am .. even if i do want to change it. anyways, erin says she really wants to transfer out too. wouldn't it be IDEAL if we both did? to nvot, nonetheless. as much as people say they hate it, i was talking to helen and stuff. and she says well, compare cdw and dwight. if you didn't like cdw, then nv wouldn't be the place for me. but honestly? i'm not just saying this because of the friends i have there, but i really did like cdw. at least a lot better than dwight. honestly, now that i look at it, my middle school was like infinity times better and i was at least 80% more decent/happy feeling. compared to what i go through, old tappan is god's light. wow and that is saying something.
too bad i probably won't be able to. =\
fuck riverdale, man.
anyway. what can i do now, just bitch. poo. so much for ideal dreaming. this is getting too long and pointless, i'll stop noww.